I Am Fluent

I hear so many ridiculous reasons excuses during traffic stops.  It’s gotten to the point that I can translate them fluently.  Here are some examples:

You say, “I can’t afford another ticket.”

I hear, “I break the law all. the. time.”

Prior to even contacting you, you say, “I wasn’t speeding.”

I hear, “I was hauling ass.”

You say, “This is chicken shit!”

I hear, “I am blame shifting in the hopes of dissuading you from writing me my eighth ticket in as many days.”   (loose translation). … Continue Reading

MC Beats a Dead Horse

Be happy that I attached a horse skull…I actually found a picture of a dead horse.  No one needs to see that.  Sometimes the interwebs scare the crap out of me.  On the other hand, I can be a mite literal from time to time.  So, the horse skull is apropos at least.

It has come to my attention that you, the driving public, are apparently indestructible if you are merely driving a short distance or from “just over there” to “just around the corner”.  It seems that wearing a seat belt on a public street isn’t a requirement if the distance to be traveled is somewhere south of a mile.

I was not aware of that caveat in the vehicle code or the statistical analysis of the severely injured and/or dead people who weren’t wearing their seat belt.  Seems they were all driving a great and mighty distance with nary a thought to their own safety.

… Continue Reading

Speed Perception (…again, Yours vs. Mine)

We’ve been talking quite a little bit about speed this past week which begged a further question.  Why is it when I ask someone if they knew how fast they were going they are frequently slower than what I confirmed their speed as with my lidar?  Am I lying?  Are they?  The answer to the first question is easy: No.  The answer to the second may surprise you: Probably not.

What?!?  MC, have you relocated your faith in the human race?

Oh, no, dear friends.  However, I am well aware that not everyone I stop is lying for the sake of lying.  It’s their perception that is off, not their moral compass. … Continue Reading

Magnum Boots USA

In an effort to support local business and to further cement what could be an excellent relationship going forward, I’m proud to announce the new Magnum Boots USA blog!

Magnum has developed an online home base where they are able to connect with their consumers and industry contacts to provide their consumers with quality content, like:

-Insight on what’s happening at Magnum HQ

-In-depth interviews with key industry insiders

-Exclusive sneak peeks at new Magnum products

- Magnum contests and giveaways

-Field Tester, blogger and editorial reviews (like yours truly!)

Here’s the coolest part: Magnum is kicking off the launch of the blog in a major way — with one lucky reader winning their choice of $1,000 in Magnum gear. The contest will last a month to allow everyone a fair shot at entering, but the big push is under way today!

Go hit ‘em up and show ‘em some love.  Tell ‘em MC sent you!  Let ‘em know you’d love to see some guest posts from your ol’ buddy, MC.  Happy Medic and I are excited to build a relationship with the folks at Magnum and we hope to announce some cool news in the next couple of months.  Curious?  Good…

The Vancouver Riots – A Front Line Response

photo © 2011 Charles de Jesus | more info (via: Wylio)I was not in Vancouver the night the Bruins won.  I’ve never been involved in a riot…on either side.  Still, I completely identified with the point of view of the officer that wrote this letter.

Here is another letter from an ER nurse written directly to a man that publicly apologized for his actions in the riot.  (His apology is printed at the bottom of her response letter.)

What amazed me most about the cop’s letter was his reference and deference to the “true heroes of Vancouver”.  The citizens that came out after all the rioters had either fled or been hooked up.  These people took to the streets, their streets, and got to cleaning up.

I love that imagery.  I love that a man who stood with a few hundred other first responders ready to defend their city from unruly, uncaring, drunken hordes was touched by a man pushing a broom.  You, sir, are a class act and I’m proud to call you a brother-in-arms.

Thanks to Karen Davidson for posting these links on the Facebook Fan Page.  It’s people like you, Karen, that make me so proud to be a part of the community here at MCPD.  Thanks for taking the time to share these stories!

The Case of the Idiot Parolee

Let me start by saying something about the picture I selected for this post.  I have no clue if this guy is/was on parole.  In my defense, the only people I’ve ever seen dumb enough to get tattoos on their faces and split their tongues fall into one of two categories: 1) on/have been on parole or 2) will be on parole at some point.  I’m sure dude is real artistic-like and is just expressing himself.  Be sure to look for him at your next business meeting.

Here’s the scene: a man calls the police because, according to him, his vehicle’s oil pan was damaged by a fuel filling cover at a gas station.  You know, where the tanker dumps the gas for the gas station and thousands of vehicles drive over it with no issue whatsoever?  Yeah, that one.  Anyway, seems the man was on parole.  Cops searched his car and found a weapon.  Shocking.  They went to his home and searched, ultimately locating another weapon.  He went to jail.

I was asked to look at the collision report the man filed regarding the alleged damage to his vehicle.  Right away, I smell equine feces.  He had taken photos of the fuel filling cover (with measurements and all) as well as the damage to his car.  My first reaction was, “No way did this happen…at least not the way he says it did.”  I came up with two theories: … Continue Reading

Speed Estimation (Yours vs. Mine)

I could roll a couple different ways on this one.  I could talk about my ability to visually estimate a vehicle’s speed and compare it to the average joe and their seemingly endless complaints about the whole city driving “at least 50 miles an hour” in front of their house.  (Hint: They are not.)

Today, however, I’m gonna take a different tack.  I stopped a woman today for speeding.  It was about as prototypical as you can get.  Reader’s Digest version:

MC: You know why?

Speeder: Speeding.

Here’s where it got interesting and was the catalyst for this post:

MC: Do you know what the speed limit on Main Ave. is?

Speeder: 45.

MC: Do you know how fast you were going?

Speeder: 55.

MC: 61.

Speeder (suddenly incensed at my obvious exaggeration regarding her speed): 61!?!?   … Continue Reading