Today, we’re going to shatter some misconceptions…and destroy a pet peeve. Â The topic of this post has been misunderstood for years by the media, the population at large, popular culture, and certainly by your drunk Uncle Steve. Â (Right now some of you are thinking of your friend’s Uncle and wondering if his name is Steve. Â I’ll never tell.)
Let’s talk about where you go when you get caught by the Po-leece.
Here’s the picture. Â You and your new “lady-friend” go to the local Lover’s Lane to get more acquainted. Â What you, in your horny all-the-blood-has-left-your-northern-dome kind of way have forgotten is that we, the police, are well aware of Lover’s Lane and patrol it frequently.
Your “lady-friend” (a real nice guy named Brandon) is also well-known by the police. Â Ol’ Brando doesn’t care if he/she gets arrested as he/she is what we affectionately refer to as a “frequent flyer”. Â You, on the other hand, have a wife, a job, and real-life responsibility. Â Unfortunately, you did a little too much blow and your brain ain’t processing risk vs. reward the way it should be.
So. Â There you are about to became intimately familiar with Brandon’s biology when a spotlight puts in stark relief what a dumbass you are. Â To add insult to injury, when the police arrest you for soliciting, they naturally search your person. Â Guess who forgot about that last vial of narcotics? Â You did, you gloriously coked up horndog, you.
What started out as a simple cite and release scenario has now entered the fun-filled world of incarceration. Â Where do you go from here? Â The hoosegow? Â Lockup? Â Jail? Â The clink? Â The slammer? Â The pen? Â The pokey?
This is where there is a lot of confusion. Â Believe me when I tell you that the Wife is a saint because I am always critical of every cop show we watch and I am hyper-critical of the media. Â These terms are thrown around like they are meaningless, but I assure you there is a distinction.
Let me make this perfectly clear. Â While there are a number of synonyms for being incarcerated, they often mean very different things. Â Jail is where you go when you get booked for a crime. Â Prison is where you go when you get convicted of that crime.
“Pen” is short for Penitentiary; a gentle euphemism for prison. Â Most other cutesy nicknames like “Slammer”, “Hoosegow”, and “Pokey” are more in line with a jail setting.
There you go, Hollywood. Â Although you didn’t pay me for my consulting, a real life police officer just made your show more legit. Â Too bad HM just whines about the crappy EMS shows. Â I’m over here making a real difference.
Oh…and stop doing blow and picking up drag queens.
What about you? Â Is there something society at large often misconstrues or just straight screws up about your job?
Featured Image Credit: Flickr and gloomy50