I know what you’re thinking. “MC! Have you lost your mind?! Are you really going to tell people how they can get out of a traffic ticket?” I am. Surprised? Shocked? You should be. The information I am about to tell you could get me kicked out of the club I just made up.
Of all the questions I get asked and all the keyword research I’ve done, it seems the one thing most people want to know is:
How can I get out of a ticket?
In my most popular post from the past year, 5 Things to Never Say to a Motorcop, I gave you a peek into the mind of a motor. They weren’t things to avoid a ticket, mind you. They were things to avoid making your situation worse.
This time around, I’m going to lay it all out for you.
Without further ado, here are five simple things to increase your chances of getting out of a ticket:
Unless you’ve been in on the moon over the past few weeks, you’ve likely heard of this little thing called Ebola. It’s reaching epidemic proportions…at least in the media. From LEOs in Texas conducting search warrants to health care workers in hospitals, there is a concern about being exposed to this horrific disease.
But is it really all that? My buddy, The Happy Medic stops by the blog to give you the lowdown on Ebola, if you should be concerned, and whether or not you can nick a pair of gloves from his rig.
In my primary career as a motor officer, I hear
lies excuses all the time. I have grown to affectionately refer to the experience as “blameshifting”.
Blameshifting is the subtle art of transferring responsibility to someone else. Hear are some highlights I’ve heard:
- Why didn’t you stop the person in front of me that was going the same speed?
- Why can’t you stop those kids from racing up and down my street?
- Why didn’t you stop the guy behind me that was so close I was forced to speed up?
- Why, oh why, won’t you stop the “real criminal” instead of me?
My answer to them all tends to be eerily similar.
Imagine this. A little girl is getting ready for school. She has her lunch, her latest work of art, a jacket if it’s cold…and her No Suicide Contract.
America, have you lost your collective shit?
I’m looking specifically at you, Alabama. Yes, I am about to throw you collectively together as a state. Right, wrong, or indifferent.
Why am I singling out Alabama? Because a public elementary school in Mobile made a 5-year-old sign a “No-Suicide-Contract.”
You read that right.
This is so epically and foundationally stupid as to be offensive…but I guess when you’re the 5th worst in the country insofar as education is concerned, we shouldn’t be so surprised. When less than 70% of your high schoolers actually graduate, it’s hard to back you up.
Let’s look at the ineptitude surrounding this situation:
When I originally posted this column on PoliceOne.com, there were a lot of comments and questions about how a guy that made some much money could muck it up so badly.
What follows is my response:
In my last post, I monitored reader comments on Facebook.
It seems a few of you took issue with the amount of money I made and the wildly lousy way I spent it.
I don’t disagree with the latter sentiment (at least how I did it five years ago); however, let’s go a bit deeper with the numbers. After all, I purport to be a financial coach on top of a motor officer.
There is an elusive beast in the world of traffic enforcement. I can count on one hand the number of times I have bagged the creature.
I have seen glimpses of it from time to time, but they were too small to be keepers. What you are looking for is the full-grown adults. The more aggressive and egregious, the more likely they are to capture your attention.
I’m talking about the tricky Twofer.
This past week, I had occasion to not only spot one, but I nearly took it to the taxidermist to have it mounted on my wall.
Warning: A Twofer is a dangerous beast and should be treated with caution. Provoke a Twofer too much and you risk any number of negative outcomes.