How to Get Out of a Ticket (Especially a Ticket You Deserve)

I know what you’re think­ing. “MC! Have you lost your mind?! Are you really going to tell peo­ple how they can get out of a traf­fic ticket?” I am. Sur­prised? Shocked? You should be. The infor­ma­tion I am about to tell you could get me kicked out of the club I just made up.

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Of all the ques­tions I get asked and all the key­word research I’ve done, it seems the one thing most peo­ple want to know is:

How can I get out of a ticket?

In my most pop­u­lar post from the past year, 5 Things to Never Say to a Motor­cop, I gave you a peek into the mind of a motor. They weren’t things to avoid a ticket, mind you. They were things to avoid mak­ing your sit­u­a­tion worse.

This time around, I’m going to lay it all out for you.

With­out fur­ther ado, here are five sim­ple things to increase your chances of get­ting out of a ticket:

The Happy Medic answers some FAQs about Ebola.

Unless you’ve been in on the moon over the past few weeks, you’ve likely heard of this lit­tle thing called Ebola. It’s reach­ing epi­demic proportions…at least in the media. From LEOs in Texas con­duct­ing search war­rants to health care work­ers in hos­pi­tals, there is a con­cern about being exposed to this hor­rific disease.

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But is it really all that?  My buddy, The Happy Medic stops by the blog to give you the low­down on Ebola, if you should be con­cerned, and whether or not you can nick a pair of gloves from his rig.

Blameshifting: The American Pastime.

In my pri­mary career as a motor offi­cer, I hear lies excuses all the time.  I have grown to affec­tion­ately refer to the expe­ri­ence as “blameshifting”.4520266264_ddec56bf04_m

Blameshift­ing is the sub­tle art of trans­fer­ring respon­si­bil­ity to some­one else.  Hear are some high­lights I’ve heard:

  • Why didn’t you stop the per­son in front of me that was going the same speed?
  • Why can’t you stop those kids from rac­ing up and down my street?
  • Why didn’t you stop the guy behind me that was so close I was forced to speed up?
  • Why, oh why, won’t you stop the “real crim­i­nal” instead of me?

My answer to them all tends to be eerily similar.

Little Suzie Signs Her No Suicide Contract. Atta Girl.

Imag­ine this. A lit­tle girl is get­ting ready for school. She has her lunch, her lat­est work of art, a jacket if it’s cold…and her No Sui­cide Contract.

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Amer­ica, have you lost your col­lec­tive shit?

I’m look­ing specif­i­cally at you, Alabama. Yes, I am about to throw you col­lec­tively together as a state. Right, wrong, or indifferent.

Why am I sin­gling out Alabama? Because a pub­lic ele­men­tary school in Mobile made a 5-year-old sign a “No-Suicide-Contract.”

You read that right.

This is so epi­cally and foun­da­tion­ally stu­pid as to be offensive…but I guess when you’re the 5th worst in the coun­try inso­far as edu­ca­tion is con­cerned, we shouldn’t be so sur­prised. When less than 70% of your high school­ers actu­ally grad­u­ate, it’s hard to back you up.

Let’s look at the inep­ti­tude sur­round­ing this situation:

How to Screw Up Making $100K (Hint: No Budget)

When I orig­i­nally posted this col­umn on PoliceOne.com, there were a lot of com­ments and ques­tions about how a guy that made some much money could muck it up so badly.

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What fol­lows is my response:

In my last post, I mon­i­tored reader com­ments on Facebook.

It seems a few of you took issue with the amount of money I made and the wildly lousy way I spent it.

I don’t dis­agree with the lat­ter sen­ti­ment (at least how I did it five years ago); how­ever, let’s go a bit deeper with the num­bers. After all, I pur­port to be a finan­cial coach on top of a motor officer.

The Case of the Twofer.

There is an elu­sive beast in the world of traf­fic enforce­ment.  I can count on one hand the num­ber of times I have bagged the creature.

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I have seen glimpses of it from time to time, but they were too small to be keep­ers.  What you are look­ing for is the full-grown adults.  The more aggres­sive and egre­gious, the more likely they are to cap­ture your attention.

I’m talk­ing about the tricky Twofer.

This past week, I had occa­sion to not only spot one, but I nearly took it to the taxi­der­mist to have it mounted on my wall.

Warn­ing: A Twofer is a dan­ger­ous beast and should be treated with cau­tion.  Pro­voke a Twofer too much and you risk any num­ber of neg­a­tive outcomes.